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As this is my first post on a new website (three years in the making, or a lifetime depending on your timezone) it seems fitting to reflect on the unbroken chain of improbabilities that brought me to this spot, and to seek the spark of inspiration that delivered me here, now, perched on the roof of a public flower garden as my fingers tic out the word uncomplication.
How did I end up on this roof? I seem to have been brought to the present moment by a series of happenings so tangled and unlikely that I sprain my brain trying to grasp at the simple improbability of it all. Today’s events seem as a dancing pageant of chance, indecision and impulsiveness, all consistent with a mysteriously graceful flow that escapes my scrutiny. Adding this day to the ones before, I see this flow of happenings take shape into a sort of character that is “me.”
As I stretch out further, crafting history as I want to see it, I find the chapters of my life unfolding like a landscape. The ocean of childhood crashing onto the rocky shores of adolescence… the fruitful hills of adulthood climbing steeply into rugged mountains with all the peaks I’d like to summit. I see those times I stayed in the lush valleys, smelling the flowers and passing time with beautiful carelessness. I see also those expeditions into the unknown, and the basecamps, vistas, casualties and companions gained and lost along the way.
Always beneath my feet are the rumblings of human history. The global events, the cultural tides and the interpersonal-politics. The tremors of fear and hope on a planet packed with people. I suddenly see my history threaded into a great tapestry with trillions of others’, and the earth becomes alive and fertile with the lives and dreams of generations past, present and future.
As I travel through the imagined landscape of my personal history, I realize how strongly I’m holding on to it. Dragging the whole landscape with me from place to place, as if trying to carry the ocean and valleys to the tops of mountains I never seem to reach. Up there, I see images of myself as having accomplished great works. Up there I see answers, fulfillment, safety and happiness.
Holding this weight, my life becomes heavy, the path ahead: complicated.
Finally, I take my eyes off my feat and gaze upwards into the dome of the sky. By day a flat curtain of blue. By night a window opening into a mystery so deep and so vast – I’m struck speechless – seized by the terrifying beauty of it all. My thoughts and words fail… and all I can do is let go.
I let go of trying to possess it, and my imagined history collapses into a single moment infinitely more radiant. I let go of trying to control it, and problems evaporate like drops of water in the sun. I let go of deciding what’s good and bad, and everything falls into balance. I let go of my thoughts about what life should be… and it is my bliss to experience life, just as it is.
In letting go, I find my uncomplication.
Welcome to uncomplication.com
This thing I’m doing: obsessively chasing ideas into the depths of what I can fathom — I call “rabbit holing.” In most situations I mentally slap my brain with a rolled up newspaper, less I disturb the peace of those around me. Not everyone enjoys digging into life like an OCD puppy in an endless field of wild hares, but I suspect there are other diggy-doggies out there who will enjoy this pursuit of uncomplication, and that’s why this website’s hare.
Regardless of what kind of diggy dog or cool cat you happen to be, Uncomplication is yours. You can find it in anything. For me it’s letting go, getting out, and experiencing life as it is. For others it’s being with friends, getting dirty, doing the dishes or taking a bath. Uncomplication is different for everyone, but everyone has their uncomplication.
What’s your uncomplication?
R.Stover
February, 2015